Joy Inside My Tears

2020 is trash.

Without listing each gut punch of the year thus far; just take my word that we’re off to a shitty start. I never tend to clutch my pearls, but there have been at least 5 good moments in 2020 that I’ve gasped and held my hand over my mouth like one of the Designing Women. Each time I’m left weaker than before. 

AND. At the same time, there may be a small shift taking place. In the past few weeks, there have been at least 3 narrative-shifting moments that depict (Black)men as... get this... human, (sarcastically clutching my pearls again) and has called some of your favorites to the carpet for their myopic portrayal or blatant disregard for Black men.

The untimely death of Kobe Bryant has sparked conversations in many circles about the humanity of Black men; an angle that is often overshadowed by the evil that men do. From #girldad to circles of men checking on one another, the media rarely shows a human angle or takes the care to highlight our humanity. Understanding that Black men are not a monolith and that we all have work to do goes without saying and is understood for the people that love and care for us.

All of the things I’ve been talking about for YEARS are being revealed. In short, Oprah (Gayle), Steve, Tyler, the nightly news, etc have culturally capitazlied on a sometimes one-sided narrative; a narrative about Black men that is myopic at best. This isn’t about going after White men with the same ferocity or energy; or taking pictures or supporting White men.  I could care less about Harvey, LouisCK, Charlie Sheen, the President, your gym teacher or your priest.

Black men begged and pleaded to see us different; to emphasize the breadth and complexity of our existence. Black men are arguably just as impacted by the harm, neglect, stereotyping, dismissive nature, and media bashing that causes America to see us as less human; that causes the police to shoot first and ask questions last and assume our guilt; that forces our sons to remove their hoodies in fear; that prevents our sons from graduating because of their hair style. All we ask is for the holistic opportunity to be human; to be ourselves; to cry; to show fear; to assume that the women that love us will be kind and supportive. Only in death are we allowed to be human; and that must stop.